YOUAREMINEXOXONOMATTERWHAT

Hello daters on the prowl! Hot singles on the scene! You're in the right place. We at the F'n Rad Dating apologize for the long hiatus. We have been carefully sifting through our millions of potential daters' profiles, and we want to be absolutely certain to deliver the choice prizes directly to you. Today, we at the F'n Rad Dating Site have a new potential dater for you, and she is hellbent on true love. We are blown away by her transparency, and her ability to share her honest feelings. She will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever give up. Never. Read and learn.

Letter from potential dater, YOUAREMINEXOXONOMATTERWHAT, to the F’n Rad Dating Site…

Dear F’n Rad Dating Site:

No matter what you do, I love you.
Wait, what’s that you say?
You hate me?
You can’t hate me.
That’s impossible! Haha!
I won’t take hate for an answer.
You’re so funny.
Would you like to meet for dinner?
Wait, you say no?
I won’t take no for an answer.
I’m hungry.
And you’re my true love.
How’s about we get together and discuss the options?
You’re not considering any options?
You don’t want lunch even?
I’m confused now.
How’s about breakfast?
Oh, it’s not time for breakfast?
Oh, you want me to go away fast?
That’s interesting.
Why would my true love do that?
Hm, oh, you say you don’t want me to come within fifty feet?
How’s about sixty?
Wait, you can’t file a restraining order.
Because you’re my true love.
I might have crossed over the fifty line, I’m sorry, I tripped.
Wait, no, you can’t put me in prison.
See, I’m your true love!
I’m sure you’ll understand if I give you a hug.
Oh, you don’t want a hug?
How about we shake hands?
Oh, you don’t want to touch at all?
I bet you have inner child issues with touching.
That’s OK.
Wow, playing hard to get.
So hot!
Oh no, I think someone handcuffed me.
That’s hot too!
Smokin!
Wait, oh no, it’s a for-real officer.
After I get out of prison, I’ll call you, OK?
I miss you.

YOUAREMINEXOXONOMATTERWHAT

-- C.A. MacConnell