Advertisement: B.S. Investments' Neck Triangle

Hello daters on the prowl! First, we apologize. You see, we at the F’n Rad Dating Site recently posted a bio for our potential dater, MrRogersMOFO, but unfortunately, we discovered that his bio was indeed…purely spam. Quite embarrassing for us to admit, but we’re glad we caught the faker before he dug into OUR neighborhood. Anyway, please bear with us while we sort through the millions of recent potential dating applications we have received. In spite of this minor snafu, we have some good news! Our sponsor, B.S. Investments, has just received a patent for a new scientific wardrobe creation. Read and learn. And now, a word from our sponsor, B.S. Investments…

B.S. Investments' Neck Triangle

Folks, pay attention. Not to the bear, no. Look closer. See that strange, triangle-shaped threading that has suddenly appeared on sweatshirts in recent years? Well, search no more...at B.S. Investments, we've recently received a patent, and we’ve named that sucker the "Neck Triangle." Think about it, daters…when you were growing up, a Neck Triangle never existed on any sweatshirt that you owned. Never. These days, when you head out to buy a sweatshirt, it is damn hard to find one without the Neck Triangle. They are everywhere. Take a look around -- all over the planet, people are wearing sweatshirts with the Neck Triangle. Soon, they will take over the world. And sometimes, even some long-sleeved T-shirts have the Neck Triangle. Pretty soon, short-sleeved shirts will have the Neck Triangle. Then tank tops. And yes,...we at B.S. Investments have discovered a way to sew the Neck Triangle onto bikini tops as well.

What is life without the Neck Triangle? Without it, it could cost you your job, your finances, your relationships, your personal hygiene, and in the years before the Neck Triangle existed, many were driven back to the booze. You see, if you remove the stitching of the Neck Triangle, mass chaos ensues. Soon, the shirt turns to threads. A bomb goes off in every major city. Aliens descend from Uranus. Next, you guessed it -- Tom Cruise and the War of the Worlds. Armageddon, people.

Go ahead. Head on out to the store and without a doubt, you’ll see B.S. Investments’ Neck Triangle on a tank top. Soon, it’ll spread across the nation and the world. Don’t miss out! Get your Neck Triangle before it's too late!

Now, you might ask yourself this: Yo, what the fuck is that thing? Why is it there? What is the purpose? Exactly. That’s where the genius rests. Just buy it. Who gives a fuck.

And when you look down, keep asking yourself, Yo, what the fuck is that thing?

For more information on the Neck Triangle, please contact B.S. Investments at 543-NECK.

B.S. Investments

-- C.A. MacConnell