Howdy, daters on the scene! With Halloween in the mix, we at the F'n Rad Dating Site are busy aiding our potential daters at numerous costume parties. They aim to score! Please bear with us while we scout various dating locations and sift through the millions of dating applications we have received. And now, a word from our sponsor, B.S. Investments...
Dog for Sale: B.S. Investments’ Benji Booboo
If you are a potential dater who is feeling lonely, and you can’t yet afford one of B.S. Investments’ horses for sale, do not dismay. Perhaps you are simply not yet prepared for equine or human pairing...
What you need is good old-fashioned time in the saddle with man’s best friend!
We at B.S. Investments are ecstatic to announce this recent news: yes, we have expanded into dog breeding! Benji Booboo is merely one of our available choice newbies, primed and ready for adoption, pending a potential dater’s full background check, driver’s license photo, copy of their latest utility check, social security number, the names of all their relatives and friends, a blood test, and access to their bank accounts. But indeed, if you pass our initial investigation, and you do qualify to adopt Benji Booboo or his sweet, devoted brother and sister puppies, and you are feeling quite unaccustomed to having successful relationships with people, Benji Booboo will soon help you learn the compassion, love, and care you will need in every single dating environs.
A full-bred, German Shepherd/Doberman/Pit bull/Wolf/Chihuahua/Rabid bat cross, Benji Booboo can attack and win at any dog show talent course; he is a proven American Kennel Club/Eukanuba National Champion, and he is as calm, collected, and affectionate as they come. Sired by the great LassieDidTimmy, Benji Booboo is bred to walk side by side with your family and rest assured, he is fully trained to protect all newborn babies from any possible threat. He enjoys snacking on live harp seals, kittens, and since he is quite elite, far removed from the plebeian American-bred Shepherds, Benji delights in the occasional side of pork chops and choice veal. An adept swimmer and crime fighter, Benji Booboo will never let you down. He also prefers to nap on the right side of the king size bed, while resting his ear on a satin pillow. In case he’s in a crabby mood, no worries, all he needs is a little snack...
This just in: with the adoption of Benji Booboo, thanks to our partner, Bryson Farms, you will also receive a dozen, heavily fattened, live, one-eyed, one-legged chickens!
For more information on Benji Booboo and our latest litter, please contact our 50-yr veteran horse trainer, Priscilla Isabel Soundbury.
Sincerely, all dogs go to heaven,
B.S. Investments
-- C.A. MacConnell
