Hi daters! When we received the letter from IAMBobbieH2O yesterday, we were not aware of what the consequences might prove to be. It seems that while he was sending his profile to us at the F'n Rad Dating Site, Bobbie was slightly distracted at Bobo Breeze Indoor Water Park! when he was supposed to be lifeguarding children. Unfortunately, as a result, we have come into some slight legal trouble. Until we can sort out the details, please bear with us as we send you a word from our sponsor, B.S. Investments. Thank you for your patience. Sincerely, the F'n Rad Dating Site. And now, a word from our sponsor...
Horse for Sale: B.S. Investments' Serene Moondancer
Serene Moondancer, or "Moon," as we call him at the barn, after earning the title of "United States Equestrian Team Horse of the Year," Moon showed on the A-circuit hunter/jumper level for 10 years, qualifying for Nationals, easily winning the Maclay Medal finals 5 years in a row. Proving himself as the perfect equitation horse on the planet, in addition, Moon is as calm and collected as they come, appropriate to use for walk/trot, crosspole, lead line, and beginner lessons. A smooth, mature ride, he has known success in every equestrian discipline, from barrel racing to intercollegiate to short stirrup. In 2010, once again, he galloped into stardom when he won the Kentucky Derby with lengths to spare. A mere short time later, he trotted his way through elite Saddlebred classes, moving on to become a Dressage legend. Although he has been gelded since his time on the track, Moon still prefers the ladies, and he would make a perfect trail horse for any aspiring, wealthy, retired owner who enjoys carrying a flask inside her hunt coat. As versatile as they come, Moon requires no turnout, as he is accustomed to the stall life 24/7. Over the years, during his endless time inside, he has learned to only poop and pee in one small corner of the stall, which makes for an easy clean. Although he cribs and kicks the barn walls so much that we had to renovate half of the stable, in hindsight, we realized it really needed a new look. Once, he escaped and adeptly kicked out the automatic watering system in every stall, causing a flash flood and the death of 3 cats, but it washed our aisles, making them sparkle and shine...well...like the moon. Daily, while cooped up, Moon has been quite useful. Often, Moon takes out at least 10 barn rats with one swipe of his hoof.
Serene Moondancer, or "Moon," as we call him at the barn, after earning the title of "United States Equestrian Team Horse of the Year," Moon showed on the A-circuit hunter/jumper level for 10 years, qualifying for Nationals, easily winning the Maclay Medal finals 5 years in a row. Proving himself as the perfect equitation horse on the planet, in addition, Moon is as calm and collected as they come, appropriate to use for walk/trot, crosspole, lead line, and beginner lessons. A smooth, mature ride, he has known success in every equestrian discipline, from barrel racing to intercollegiate to short stirrup. In 2010, once again, he galloped into stardom when he won the Kentucky Derby with lengths to spare. A mere short time later, he trotted his way through elite Saddlebred classes, moving on to become a Dressage legend. Although he has been gelded since his time on the track, Moon still prefers the ladies, and he would make a perfect trail horse for any aspiring, wealthy, retired owner who enjoys carrying a flask inside her hunt coat. As versatile as they come, Moon requires no turnout, as he is accustomed to the stall life 24/7. Over the years, during his endless time inside, he has learned to only poop and pee in one small corner of the stall, which makes for an easy clean. Although he cribs and kicks the barn walls so much that we had to renovate half of the stable, in hindsight, we realized it really needed a new look. Once, he escaped and adeptly kicked out the automatic watering system in every stall, causing a flash flood and the death of 3 cats, but it washed our aisles, making them sparkle and shine...well...like the moon. Daily, while cooped up, Moon has been quite useful. Often, Moon takes out at least 10 barn rats with one swipe of his hoof.
Such a champion shouldn't be endangered by time outside in the field.
With the purchase of Moon, you'll also receive a free bucking strap, an autographed stick (which used to be a pitchfork before Moon grabbed a hold of it with his teeth and decimated it), and a full bottle of blood thinners, Ace, and other herbal tranquilizers to combat Moon's anxiety disorder, all designated legal prescriptions for horse sports.
If you are interested in Serene Moondancer, please contact our 20-year, veteran trainer, Priscilla Isabel Soundbury at 543-Moon.
B.S. Investments
-- C.A. MacConnell
If you are interested in Serene Moondancer, please contact our 20-year, veteran trainer, Priscilla Isabel Soundbury at 543-Moon.
B.S. Investments
-- C.A. MacConnell
