Dating Event Suggestions

Now, we at the F’n Rad Dating Site are absolutely gung-ho, and we believe in true love and magic! But when it comes to ideas for dating events, we are also grounded in our approach. Yes, we realize that there are those times when a potential dater needs to quickly exit a dating situation that just doesn’t seem to be the correct fit. We like to call it this: “scurry the fuck out of there.” Of course, any potential dater could just up and disappear, but that’s no fun. Here are some suggestions on how to scurry the fuck out of there. Read and learn…

Dating Ideas When it Doesn’t Fit: How to Scurry the Fuck Out of There

1. Go white water rafting, level 4, with no paddle, no guide, and no boat. (Our CEO actually participated in this dating event, and it worked like a charm. Her potential date disappeared for good, without a trace and with no legal consequences).
2. Fruit picking in Central Park at 4 a.m.
3. Candlelight dinner with a side order of gasoline.
4. Go for a bike ride through a thorn bush!
5. Bowling. The holes. Super Glue.
6. Take a ride on The Rotor at any local festival. The centripetal force USUALLY holds most daters against the wall but then again, some sweaty, bony, tattooed dude named Frank puts them together five minutes before the festival begins, so there’s always a chance for a mistake.
7. Go to a local park and bring some sidewalk chalk! You and your dater can take turns making funny pictures. Then, at a key emotional moment, over and over, only write this: “HELP ME!” and your dater’s sure to disappear. Also works with fingerpainting and body paint.
8. Feed the ducks together. Munch on stale bread and tell your date the ducks feel like your family of origin.
9. Suggest board games. Pull out Hungry Hungry Hippo. Cry and say it’s too “challenging.”
10. Instead of an artsy play, suggest watching Teletubbies.
11. Make dinner together and pull out your extensive knife collection, as well as your swords.
12. Head to the cemetery and tell your date you wish you knew what it was like to be buried alive.
13. Suggest extreme sports and/or curling.
14. Hm, breakfast. Point at your cat.
15. Museums! Suggest the Dog Collar Museum in England.
16. A serene hike up Mt. Everest!
17. Go caving when the sky looks stormy…laugh and wear a scuba outfit.
18. Go hunting or fishing together. Make sure to share about that time you took out an albino tiger with a machete, one swipe to the throat.
19. The zoo! Say it reminds you of how you spent last year.
20. Ice skating. Bring a blow torch and ask your date if they know anyone named Tonya or Nancy.
21. Look at the stars and remark about how you want to travel to Jupiter so bad like everyone’s been doing lately.
22. Arts and crafts! Suggest taxidermy.
23. A picnic. Bring a basket full of elephant shit.
24. Ropes course with slightly intact, tattered ropes.
25. Author reading, poetry reading. During the middle of it, shout, “You liar!”
26. Take a fancy car on a test drive. And don’t return it.
27. Give them a massage using WD40.
28. Putt Putt. Bring your monogrammed hockey stick and/or baseball bat. Just for kicks, put a little dried blood on the end.
29. Dancing. Remind them that you once were electrocuted and have little bowel control upon movement.
30. Karaoke and bust out “Bobby McGee.” No one wants to hear that, even if you’re Janis.
31. Build a blanket fort with a cardboard box and watch movies in your PJs, but say you’d rather be wearing the cardboard box.
32. Go on a ghost tour. Be the ghost.
33. Take a gentle exercise class together, such as a one-mile, 200lb sled push.
34. Plan a scavenger hunt in Celaya, Mexico.

Good luck, daters on the prowl! Until next time...sincerely, the F'n Rad Dating Site.

-- C.A. MacConnell