Dating Suggestions: WAGD

Recently, here at the F’n Rad Dating Site, our millions of potential daters have sent us messages regarding skin care suggestions, and we are here to help! To answer your skin pleas for mercy, along with our sponsor, B.S. Investments, and our partnership with Dragon Ballz University, we have now teamed up with WAGD’s new skin care line!!!!!! Any potential dater on the F’n Rad Dating Site is eligible for a one-time discount! And now, a message from our partner, WAGD!. Read and learn…

New Beauty Cream: WAGD!

ATTENTION SKIN CARE LOVERS. JUST RELEASED ...

New skin care product on the line, ... for you.

Fresh, unique, affordable, and it works like no other face cream you have experienced before. Right here, right now, throw away all of your current beauty treatments, because what we’ve developed in our laboratories will take them all to the cleaners …

And your first sample is FREE! That's right, 100% free!!

... and then, for the low monthly membership of $49.99, you can treat your skin right up until your last breath. And if you act now, you can join during the trial period for only $49.69 per month!!!

We're waiting for you.

Recent scientific findings show that our product goes beyond where any skin cream has gone before. Our revolutionary cream, called WAGD!, “We’re All Gonna Die!” is absolutely pure and unrefined, containing many chemicals, but no harsh ingredients. WAGD! is made entirely of nothing but all natural, unfiltered tap water. That’s right, tap water. Carefully bottled near a stream in Mesopotamia, our tap water is the finest on the market. Add a little soap, and presto, clean face skin. Experts have found that WAGD! has been helping all genders for centuries. It might seem that you could just use your own tap water; however, ours is carefully geared toward everyone. That's right, everyone -- the young and old, toddlers and infants, and even animals. Whether you are fat as hell, skinny as a rail, gay, straight, confused, a Democrat, a Republican, or Bernie Sanders, our team of research panelists have discovered that WAGD! tap water is the finest in the world, and it is highly effective ...

for you AND your horse.

ACT NOW, and you'll receive a free bar of lye soap along with your bottle of WAGD!! If you're a new customer, we’ll also include a free “We’re All Gonna Die!” T-shirt! What more could you ask for?

If you're STILL not convinced, here are some recent testimonials:

“Before I tried WAGD!, I tried all of the most expensive beauty creams imaginable. Through your company, I've realized that I’m just gonna die, and I’ve been using your tap water ever since. This change has completely altered my life.” – Betty “Sandface” Lynn, CEO and straight mother of two, Massachusetts.

“I’ve been wearing my WAGD! T-shirt out shopping and everywhere I go, people stop me to ask what I’ve been doing because I look so different. When I tell them I’m almost dead, I get so much attention. So rewarding!” – Rachel Zimmerban, single closet lesbian mother, Iowa.

“WAGD! Oh my god, I love you,” – Steve Carbonwise, flaming gay lawyer and pie maker, Germany.

“At first, I just used the trial package, and I saw that my skin was beginning to flake off, but when I realized that WAGD! was automatically charging my credit card, I thought, ‘What the hell, they’re right, who cares if my face melts and I go in debt, because we’re all gonna die.’ I feel so free! I will be a committed member until I’m dead!” – Lucy “Patchycheek” Smithers, taxi driver, asexual, into toys, Dubai.

Sadly, due to climate change and increased shipping costs, our product will soon be unavailable...you must act NOW.

Thank you so much to our new customers! We look forward to doing business with the world. We aim to please. Our customer service team is ready and waiting!

THIS JUST IN: if you hurry, we'll also include a FREE "We're All Gonna Die" key chain.

Sincerely,
The WAGD Team

-- C.A. MacConnell